Ordinary Peoples Essay, Research Paper
There are many factors that contribute to strong relationships. Some of the cardinal elements are communicating, trust, and forgiveness. In Judith Guests novel, Ordinary Peoples, there are several relationships where these elements are portrayed. They are illustrated either in a positive or negative mode, normally between several household members. One component that helps relationships become strong, and keeps people together is communicating. Communication can keep a relationship tightly together, whereas a deficiency of communicating can rupture it apart. One illustration of good communicating in a relationship is demonstrated between Dr. Berger and Conrad Jarrett. One of the lone people that Conrad feels comfy speaking to and demoing all of his emotions, is Dr. Berger. Dr. Berger wants Conrad to pass on with him and gives him good grounds for making so, by stating, ? That? s what happens when you bury this debris, kiddo. It keeps resurfacing. Won? T leave you alone. ? ( Page 109 ) Berger says that because he is seeking to acquire Conrad to open the lines of communicating with everyone, so that everything does non go buried in the cupboard. Communication is a critical constituent of all relationships and when it is losing it can do people suffering. In Conrad? s relationship with his female parent, Beth, they do non travel out of their manner to speak to each other, and their conversations are superficial and fiddling. Some grounds that they do non speak to each other likely has to make with the fact that they are excessively much alike, obstinate, and will non acknowledge to their inmost feelings. One illustration of miscommunication occurred when Beth learned at a meeting that her boy had quit the swim squad. She came home really angry, because Conrad had non tried to discourse his determination to discontinue with his parents. ? Never head, ? she says. ? It? s meant for me. Isn? t it? I wish I knew, Conrad, why it is still so of import for you to seek to ache me! ? ( Page 101 ) Apparently there is a definite deficiency of communicating between Conrad and his parents, and in peculiar with his female parent. She takes all of his actions the incorrect manner, believing that he is singling her out in order to ache her. Therefore, in order for a relationship to be strong and for it to last, there must be proper communicating, with openness and honestness. Another cardinal component in relationships is trust. Without trust a relationship will most probably be sabotaged with intuition and lies. Cal trusted his boy, Con in many ways, even before Con learned to swear himself. One of the first apparent marks of external trust in this novel was when Con gets his auto degree Fahrenheit
or Christmas and ?Cal, resisting the urge to call, ?Take it easy!? or any other of those good luck charms, thinks, He will be careful. He will take it easy, even though he has not driven in nearly a year, because he is a good driver.? (Page 117) An additional example of a lack of trust is when Conrad does not have enough faith in his mother to tell her how he feels about everything. This includes what he believes his mother thinks of him, and about his feelings on his brother?s death. When a relationship is devoid of trust, many hurtful and damaging things are held inside, and feelings do not become acknowledged or purged. The element of forgiveness is very important in numerous ways, because no one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes in life. Some people can come to terms with the past and move on, but others cannot help keeping the memory of horrid things, and not forgive. Beth was one of those people, or so her son thought. ?Lately! Listen, if you-listen! I am never going to be forgiven for that, never! You can?t get it out, you know! All of the blood on her rug and her goddamn towels-everything had to be pitched! Even the goddamn tile in the bathroom had to be re-grouted. Christ, she fired a goddamn maid because she couldn?t dust the living room right, and if you think that she is ever going to forgive me-? (Page 110) This statement made by Conrad portrays that he could not even forgive himself, and since he was not able to do this for himself, how could he expect his mother to forgive him. For most families, parents are forced to forgive their children for many things. This is all part of life, because everyone makes mistakes, yet Cal said that Beth was not able to forgive. There is one particular instance where Beth even said that she could not forgive Conrad and she said, ?That whole vicious thing! He made it vicious, as sickening as he could! The blood-all the blood! Oh I will never forgive him for it! He wanted it to kill me too!? It is obvious that it is not in Beth?s nature to share or forgive because she is very self-centered and superficial, thinking that Conrad and Calvin do things to hurt her, and only her. The negative examples just described above demonstrate how relationships can turn extremely negative without forgiveness. There are many elements in relationships, some which have more significance then others. Without communication, trust and forgiveness, which are very essential factors, then the relationship will not be healthy or enduring. Life without these factors would be truly miserable and arduous, but relationships without these would be hopeless and pointless.